sonofarathorn

posting it for danny, would like to hear everyone else though. :)

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 19:09:23 GMT

1.Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

HERE COMES THE FUN...

1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Favorite animal?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Favorite TV show?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Favorite author?
13. Would you drive across Russia with me?
13a. In a decomissioned Soviet tank?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?|
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Favorite flavor of ice cream?
19. If I only had one day to spend with you per year, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

News...

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 06:13:20 GMT

So, me and Danny finished X-MEN after a near 12 hour war. Final playing time was somewhere in the 29 hour time range. The last battle was nothing short of epic, with my fallen comrades around me, i battled it out to the end with the endless support of Danny cheering me on. And i fwooped Kincade's ass. Now...we're bored. People, tell us what we should do next. :)

I restrung my guitar today. We spent a few hours of much needed alone time together and i polished it with pledge stuff, and put the new strings on, and played and played and played. I am getting ready for the toxic tea party. I'm excited. :)

Not much else to report...i'll be back when i gots somethin juicy.

PEACE

My Adventures with the X-Men and G.Love

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 20:32:28 GMT

So...me and Danny have discovered the majesty of gaming that is X-MEN LEGENDS. We've pulled multiple all nighters (usually of which i end up falling asleep while playing. My sleeping is a little off and sparratic lately...haha) They've always been a great time, and the game itself is prety freakin wicked. I'm Wolverine. Danny is Beast. Often times I may switch to either Iceman or Jean Grey whilst Danny would switch to either Colossus or Havok (If it were a perfect world). In fact, it's approx quarter after 1 on tuesday, and Danny is on his way over to play some more...and odds are, with only a couple of breaks, me and Danny might just play all night. WAIT! I just got off the phone. We're going to watch a movie too. I was also thinking about maybe going to watch "Fearless" at the capitol tonight as their new assistant manager started yesterday and i'm dying to see if she'll be the saving grace of that theatre that will launch it back to the coolness it once was. Here's praying. lol.

I'm now up to 170 lbs. and i've come to the conclusion that it's fuckin tough to gain weight! I mean god damn! I'm eating lots. I'm drinking protein and weight gain shakes. I'm working out. I'm eating some more...i mean gawd damn. but hey, i can visibly see a difference i guess...so it's all good. i can't complain. haha. Considering i've put on 15 pounds, it's coo.

I've rediscovered how much i dig G.Love. If you haven't heard of him, he's like...if jack johnson started rapping, and all his songs stopped sounding the same. lol. It's very blues based, but it's got a really happy and toe tapping beat to it. and by rap, i mean, it's kinda rap, but a bit more melodic and not agressive in the slightest. I just thought i should pass on the vibes cause this music is full of the good ones. Check out: "The Hustle" "Fishing Song" and "Astronaut"...all wicked tracks on the album though. G.Love - The Hustle. Check it out, i like it...you might too. :)

It's cool gettin to see bree at work. lol. not something i thought i'd ever be lucky enough to do. :)

I'm playing at the Toxic Tea Party on the 30th at one o'clock in the hooka lounge in the shroom with the caterpillar. I get to stay in the V.I.P. camping grounds and we all have our very own beer gardens. :) Cool.

More often lately i'm wishing i could fly. not to get away. Just to fly. You can't tell me that wouldn't be rad.

Anyways peeps...Talk to you later.

Today is the greatest...

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 18:29:37 GMT

Yeah, so here I am, not having played for a public crowd in a year, about to do a two hour concert tonight! Nerves don't quite come into play, as i know i'll be able to get up there, and once i start i won't stop...but my only concern is my endurance. lol. I've never played for a two hour concert...and now i'm racking my brain for any music i've learned over the years to tap into and play for a set list tonight. and now i'm learning new music as we speak. Gawd i'm an idiot. lol. but it'll be a great time and i hope many of you can make it, as it'll be a booze filled, mellow jammin night. :)

I love you all.

PEACE.

Uhm, allo all!

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:36:29 GMT

Wow, haha, so much for keeping up with this bad boy. :)

So anyways, here I am, i finally broke down and shelled out the cash at PC Bang (Stupid Name) and have been playing video games i'd never even heard of till now. It's 2:30. Wow. I've been off work for two hours...seems like nothing. lol.

See, that "LOL" was acutally real, and i just had a whole room of caffinated nerds look my way with a look of "OUTSIDER" smeared across their faces.

Guess i'll keep quiet.

So it looks like i'm going to be doing a last minute gig at the Grateful Fed tomorrow night for Madd Hatter Productions. She's been asking me for awhile to do a gig through myspace, and now it looks as though she needs a quick spot filled tomorrow...my voice isn't loving me though...dunno, maybe i'll do a quick practice run tomorrow.

Anyone who'd like to come is more than welcome. i'd like to see friendly faces! and it's a good place that i know loves the patronage.

DANNY! I'm sorry, i played more X-Men without you. not alot more, but i'm in the sewers with the morlocks...and they're pussies cause i leveled us up so much. we're uber bad ass though. I'm about to hit level 15. YES! WOLVIE!!! haha. Oh, and magma continues to be better than all of us combined. Fucking bitch.

BREE!!! I worked with bree! on uhm...sunday. I think it was. lol. i don't know i'm tired. BREE you should totally come on wednesday. :) It'll be good.

Danny should come too.

And Amy. Ms. Grant, how i love thee. :)

and sam, whell, seeing as you're gone soon, you should come. lol. Of course, i'll letcha all know if i'm going to go fo sho...cause of the throat...and i can't remember if i work or not. i think it's a no though...maybe i'll find out before i drive home. :)

I was just playing a game called "Gun". I was a cowboy. Shooting them dirty indians. YES!

WWWWWWWWWOOOOOAH! i'm tired. Peace out chilluns. I'll be in contact soon.

woah.

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 11:44:11 GMT

OKAY so this is a post after i just woke up on my bedroom floor. i remember everything up to the point when katie started to make me drinks. LOL. i remember the bathroom, and i remember my dad...i really hope my dad was there and i'm not crazy. although at the same time i wish my dad wasn't there because it was not my proudest moment. I remember leaving the bathroom, but i don't remember anything else. i woke up on my bedroom floor and walked out to the living room to find everything cleared out and moved to the kitchen, and richard sleeping on my couch. fuck...i'm still drunk. lol. holy shit this night sucked so much it was cool. i remember ashley and kim getting here, and i think i remember ashley and i sitting together. What the shit katie...why did you have to get me sooooooo pissed. lol. it wasn't all your fault...hahaha...but gawd damn! that drink just kept getting more and more alchohol. You'll get yours. hahahahahah. ahhhhh, i'm still drunk. What the shit! lol. what am i going to do. lol. i'm going to be a mess this morning. hahaha. when did you all leave?! when?! ahahaha. again i woke up to an empty house...althoguh this time...richard was still here. but that kid is so much of a mess...i just asked him when everyone left...he kinda stirred, and then told me that he didn't remember. hahaha. i love you all. tkae care of yourself...and i hope you all had a fun night. YEAH PENTICTON! GET LAID TOUR 2005! WHAT HAPPENS IN PENTICTON, STAYS IN PENTICTON. Bye!

So...

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 08:18:49 GMT

I was thinkin. And it started to hurt.

How are things you ask? I think that I overemphasize things a little bit. I mean, the lack of sleep thing no...but I think I'm as busy as I am, because I tell people I am. Do you get what I'm getting at?

It's kind of like self-psychology. I think I'm busy, so whenever I have multiple things to do, my mind automatically tells me, "Yes Adam, your life is like this all the time."

But enough about that. The theatre is working me dry, but I rule over that place so it's okay. I rolled into work an hour late the other day, and I didn't even get written up because Rick dosen't want to piss me off so I'll leave. LOL. yeah, I gots it made!

But with great power comes great responsibility. I am really really expected to know my job well, and the employees call me to come fix a problem before Rick, which I find rather amusing.

Anyway, this is more of a hello I'm back entry. I'll write again when I think of something.

Peace.

woah...

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 12:08:22 GMT

i just found out i'm the only one who dosen't do this anymore. lol. ouch
well...I'M BACK!

I wonder.

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 11:51:41 GMT

I wonder if this thing even still works. heh heh. It's 4 in the morning. why couldn't i ever write these in the normal hours of the day. well...you know what...i might just start this again. but for now...i'm going to go and read my old entries.

adios

Le Quote of the Week

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 04:06:05 GMT

"The party was of two denominations-- the compatriots of my best friend's younger brother, fresh graduated from high school; and the worn fellowship of my generation. Interesting. The young'uns drank because it was cool and I suppose it was the first summer of the rest of their lives. The rest of us drank because we knew better. This was just another summer in lives of confused despair. Oh, the ephemeral nature of it all, the post-modern conundrums?! Le sigh, le boo-fucking-hoo."
- Gareth

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 10:48:40 GMT

Hello there again. We often find ourselfs here at quarter after three in the morning, staring at a blank canvas that can only be filled with the typed word and we wonder..."What is new and exciting in my non-newish non-exciting-esqe life...and how can i 'jazz' it up so that everyone else can laugh and enjoy my clever anecdotes?" Truth be told my devoted readers. We all do it and now that it is up in the air we can all accept it. But AH! a startling revelation! it's not just on the wonderful pages of livejournal that we do this! Every day life is filled with it. OH AND HOW WE LOVE IT!

heh heh. So basically, i am going to try and direct my randomness by focusing on a subject every livejournal entry i do. That way, if you think i'm a tard for writing on the subject...you can skip over it and miss my elaborations. Not wise though. ;)

So, as before, we are a group of mammals where elaboration...or a "WHITE LIE" is a very common occourance. But we need it. Hell, we depend on it for our very existence. Weirdly enough, a film that perfectly depicts a civilization lacking is, 'Liar Liar'. For only one day Fletcher Reed is robbed of his ability to lie. ONE DAY! in this day, he's fired, he almost loses his son and ex-wife to the magoo boyfriend, reputation ruined, friends lost, but luckly, no one really learns a lesson from this because it's Jim Carrey doing the claw and this is funny. but like i said, without chaos, there can never be peace.

So some might say, "But everything turned out for the better". AH YES! "AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!!" He realized that he can make it through life without lying. All in all, you can live an honest life, if you so choose.

Also illustrated in the film was the fact that a lie could even be bitting your tounge. Not speaking out. Changing your actions or opinions to suit others. tsk tsk...how many of those things did we do today alone?

I am all for the tounge biting. The white lies. For the benefit of all. Not calling a person fat to their face, even when they ask you directly...granted...would be a bad thing if you said those were the biggest thunda thighs you'd ever seen. If someone asked you if you could notice the huge hideous boils on their face...would you say "SWEET JEBUS! BATHE MAN BATHE!!!!" Granted...a white lie would need to be substituted. However the use of the white lie becomes dangerous when it only benifets the liar.

"oh man, she loves it! she can help but beg!"

"It's me your talking to. Of course i've seen/heard/read that movie/track/book"

It's these damn elaborations on the stories of our own that we need to take out the whip and maintain. Keep in line. Without a hazard line drawn soon, where will all this end? Already we live a lie. As much as we loath to admit it, when we get home, sitting by ourselfs, taking a shit, reading a book, listening to music....whatever....we become that one person that we can never be infront or around anyone else. No one else can even be near when this person rears it's ugly head.

OURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alot of people reading this will say, fuck off adam, i am who i am. i never change for people. i'm the same all the time. BUHAHAHAHAHAHA! you lie and it's way to obvious. No matter how slight the change...ADMIT IT...there is a side of you that you never show people. Maybe you don't know how'd they react...maybe you don't want them to...maybe this person is your own and you like it that way. Regardless...it's these elaborations and these false persons created to the point where we almost have a stock room we can withdrawl a character from when needed that are the problem. The only thing in this world we have left TRULY for ourselfs, is just that. And we just can get over the damn fear of it all.

It's weird, billions of years of evolution, change, and we as a group still cannot stand the feeling of fresh air on what is really our skin.

It is now quarter to four. In two hours, i will have been awake for 24 hours. If i can figure this out on no sleep, what the fuck is wrong with the rest of you?

But forget it...in a few hours, i'll resort to the closet and find the newest character for myself to wear today. But maybe...just maybe...i'll one day clear off the mothballs, clean off the dust, and i'll find myself once again.

My apparent essay.

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 14:18:53 GMT

This was supposed to be my essay on why i should be accepted into the program at C.A.T.O.

It's funny, but when i sit down to tell someone about my dreams, any words i may choose to find, become lost and are unable to be found ever again. It's like my dream is a tangible form of my imagination. And yet, that is the very thing so many of us lack. And in our deprivation, we can't help but try to replace it with something manufactured. Something safe and guaranteed to thill and excite and impress and make us viable in the eyes and opinions of others. Maybe not material goods, but maybe accomplishments. Becoming a scientist. Getting straight A's. Curing abscure diseases. And while this is an amazing feat, and a nessecary part of our functioning life of which we have created around ourselves, i can't help but notice a lack of change. A lack of imagination, and drive. Ambition and dreams. It seems as though the "road less travelled" is being scientifically proven wrong as being the better choice. Take the safe road. Study hard. Make money. Play it smart. What happened to the young woman leaving home to become an actress. Living through hell just to get her dream of being on broadway. What happened to the artist who gives it his all and ignores the doubting world and just takes off. Lives in his world. Dreams his dream. Lives his imagination. Sure, they still exist. But can they still change the world? Maybe the better question is, would we ever listen?

i guess it turns out that a day and a half without sleep or food changes the way you look at the world. Morning everyone. :)

Ghey!

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 18:26:54 GMT

Have you ever wondered why we are the way we are? Why we do the things we do? Is it for some greater purpose? Do we believe what we do is right and just? How long will so many go with pawning their actions off on the religion of the week? The most interesting, and maybe the most disturbing thing about all of this, is that every human being has the immediate capacity to fall into "sin". Every human, regardless of history, race, name, could go from the nicest person in the world, to serial killer #1. there is no prejudice in dementia.

When you look at our society as a whole, we still remain a very animalistic group. While many argue that we are technologically advanced, socially advanced...etc., mentally we still are the foresight retarded fools of yesterday. And that is where we are forever stuck. In yesterday. "Everything was fine yesterday, so it all must be working out".

In a film titled "Koyannisqatsi", ancient Hopi texts read:

1. One day we will drop a can of ashes that will burn the land and boil the oceans.

2. When we dig the precious things from the earth, we will only cause disaster.

"Koyannisqatsi" itself means "Life out of Balance". "A way of life that demands a new way of living." i definetly recomend this film as i am out of time for today. lol. work time. This will be continued!

HOOOOOOORA to new friends mang.

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 10:35:07 GMT

Tonight i met this kick ass girl named Kelly at the staff show. funny as hell. And Darcy...good budday...acutally ran a lap of the theatre when i asked him too. And even though slightly annoying...jessica's sister turned out to have a moment of deepness applicable to communication and intellegence in a conversation about pop-culture. And all the while i was not quite sober. lol.

Spider-man was just as fantastic...if not more so...the second time around.

Danny...good times as always. I can't wait till "Reel-Guys"...we'll be sure to write a special segment in just for you.

Samantha...sorry about supersize me. it just wasn't meant to be. COME PARTY! lol. i'm glad you liked spider man.

Bree...uhm...where the fack are ya?! i miss you i haven't seen you in the life of a freaking goldfish! Get back to me..lauze out.

Ryan...well...i can talk to you anytime...rock on.

Jeremy...you don't read these...but i will whoop your ass in minesweeper flags again!

fuck it...i'm outta people. i'm to tired to think now. hahahahaha...sorry...lol...wow...give me sleep. I love you guys. COME PARTY!

Hmmm...spider-man...or amazing day at city park....

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 10:07:29 GMT

So i watched spider-man. And it was good.

So this day with samantha dearest was better than any movie. She listened to me play guitar...she sang...she told me about her talking flower friend...but you know...i can forgive her for that. Were all a little crazy sometimes. Regretfully...i do not have flashy pictures and poetic words to tell you about it all...so all i will say is...Your my M.J. sam...and I....I'm spider-man.
...
...
...
...
...
...
Naw...not really. But a day in the sun with a camera and pita's, overdue library books, calvin and hobbes...with some people all over each other like cats in heat...are all in all...the five essential ingredients in a day like a dream...with the girl to go with it. Goodbye all...and samantha...i hope i did it justice.

Jabber

Fri, 25 Jun 2004 11:11:08 GMT

I guess i don't really know why. After all, it's not all that important to know. But when it's all said and done with, you just can't help but sit back with a glass of juice and wonder. *and he takes a deep breath*. I just got back from watching..."The Notebook" and yeah...it was the normal chick flick but i hate after those movies and i always fall into the deep reflective period where you ponder if that is something that really exists or if it is just something you have always wanted so bad you begin to think it's real. It was sweet, touching, sad, loving, yet...all in all...false.

It's a damn shame really because I try so hard to bring a figment to reality...

Gawd...enough about the same ol' entries. I'm tired of this shit. Who of you hate me because of my bitching? god knows i'm starting to hate it. Meet the old me.

My life is great. i'm alive, breathing, with friends and family around to support and help me.

People are dying and it's only a matter of time until we know someone who gets the phone call. It's only a matter of time till conscription for christsakes. "TERRORIST KILLERS KNOW AMERICA IS SENSITIVE TO BEHEADINGS" That being an acutal headline in a kelowna newspaper. LOCAL!

my life is great, but what happens when someone else's world crumbles. Does mine gather the dust from the rubble...no. Do i feel even the slightest tremor when the earthquake of their beheaded...DEAD son...assaults their minds with a horror that even the wickedest nightmares can scarce imagine? And here i am about to bitch about love. I have love. I love, and I hope to god i am loved. So what if i don't have a girlfriend. I know who i want, i'm just to chicken shit to go for it.

That family had a love...and now it's gone forever.

And yes, i know all bitching is not trivial...but i for one...am pretty damn tired of all the self sympathy that is going on with myself. lol. I have it sweeet! i'm going to start college...learn about the rest of my life...continue on...be great...do great things...bring everyone i care for with me. And all i can bitch about...is that no one has exactly what i have. Because what i have...is an acceptance. An acceptance of what i have as perfection.

Sorry...my mind is a touch berzerk right now. lol. it's 10 after 4...it's light outside...maybe i'll stay up to watch the sunset.

What could be better. :)

Hay

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 21:13:17 GMT

Lauze here. Well, so it goes. I got my new computer hooked up. kicks ass. well...not all what i needed it to be, but it is really cool to have our office up and running. i am going to bring all my music stuff down today after school, and that will be another step toward the greatness of our office. We have our camera, our computer, our laptop, our film beginnings. Oh, i did that brain test thingy too.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

i thought it was pretty accurate so hey, maybe the internet is the almighty characterizer of us all. lol. alrighty, i'll talk to you guys later. adios.

hallo all.

Mon, 31 May 2004 22:06:41 GMT

it's been a bit. my internet at my house is down so i couldn't post anything. hell, it's still down, but now i am at school......FUCK! lol. i dislike this place. it makes me want to go take a shower. so anywho, i just got back from drygrad. it was sooooo amazing. i am just so content right now. after we went bowling, and after we went to the movie, and after breakfast, we got to camp, and they just let us set up our tents then do what ever it is that what we really wanted to do. i played guitar. i played guitar for awhile. I played guitar from 7:30 a.m. until 2:30 p.m. on the side of a cliff with 3 of my closest friends. it was some of the most amazing moments shared in history. that evening, after lunch, and after i took a walk on the CPR, i out ran a train, then i went up to the main lodge. There, we were suprised with a hynotist. i was up on that stage so fast i almost tripped on the chair getting up.

So i was the first to go under, and the deepest to fall. He started to make me fall asleep in slo-motion so that i wouldn't hurt myself when he said "sleep". I was the cheif from the village people, i was viggo mortensen, i flew a boat-bird, i ate live gummi bears, and i had some guy cup my genital region. There was more, but i can't really remember it all. there will be a video soon. lol. On the second day, after the hypnotist made me have the most amazing sleep of my life, i slept in and i almost missed the damned rafting bus. lol.

Rafting was breathtaking. Literally. The water was below freezing. The wind, was staggering. But the rush, incredible. I had such a blast with all my friends, and i acutally managed to not fall of the boat despite the lauze legend.

All in all, i think it was exactly what i needed to get these last few weekes over with. i feel charged, happy, and ready. But i miss all yous guys! i miss movies at the paramount, i miss jamming with chris, i miss making up emo songs for samichiwa, i miss how badly i would get my ass whooped at trivial pursuit, i miss foozball, i miss peanut butter M&M's, i miss plan B, i miss the oscars and sam with her notebook, i miss bree and her photo shoots and poetic nature, i miss illegal intoxication, i miss kareoke, I miss ryan kicking his own ass, i miss passing the j, i miss nadene and her giggly, yet serious attitude on life, i miss doing nothing but sit on the couch and loving every second, and kyler with the bump on the back of the head. Feel better doode. You guys are the foundation, and i just want to thank you for not disasociating yourself from me through the funk of the century. I VOTE PARTY!

This concludes our broadcast day.

Wow, i have to keep this up frequently. lol

Tue, 18 May 2004 21:50:57 GMT

Well, here is another sparatic post from the mind of Mr. Adam Lauze. So i almost quit the theatre the other day. i'm doing my normal, i hate life, phase (of which i think is slowly getting better. i still need sleep though) and i was at work. Ryan knows most of it. I bitched at my dad while i drove up to abbotsford. so he knows most of it. i just can't take it anymore. it seems like everything in my life is just holding me back now. it's like i need to make some drastic change if i am ever going to get anywhere. and the amount that work was pissing me off last saturday, it seemed like the logical choice. I was almost in tears. i was formulating the words in my mind that i was going to say to levi. I was ready. Steady. then...the one thing that could have stopped me, did.

My phone in my pocket began to vibrate. I picked it up, and with a rather vicious tone, said, "WHAT?! i'm at work."

"Oh hey jay, sorry, i can let you go." it was my dad.

"No, i didn't know it was you. Sorry, i just hate work."

"No you don't adam."

"oh but i DO!"

Now, this is wehre i told him how much i hate work, paraphrased. lol. then, i started to get into how much i hate life. how much i felt was wrong. how much i hated where i was in life. how much i needed to move on. I think i scared him. Acutally, i know i did. He came home 4 days early to stay for the weekend, and bring me to abbotsford with him to stay for a couple days and get my bearings. Again. It never seems to fully help.

So this is where i am now. i am sitting at my dads desk in the middle of the day. Yesterday i watched the LOTR extended editions back to back, and i have managed to avoid doing any form of homework. yeeeeahhhh...i'm facked. But you know, for the first time, i don't think i am going to let it get to me. i am moving on. i have discovered, through a long conversation with my father dearest on the way here, that i just need to learn to love my job again. I need to make them work for me, instead of lettting them work me over.

Katina and jessica are taking me out for dinner tomorrow to make an attempt at cheering me up.

Hmmmm....could be fun.

I acutally miss samantha dearest. I went to call her the other day but i forgot she wasn't there anymore. lol. no this isn't me confessing love, i just kinda wanted to see her before she left. we were supposed to hang out. BIAOUTCH! hahaha. naw, it's only two weeks, she'll be back. then POOL PARTY! hahaha. I'm hanging out with my bro a bit more which is definetly awsome and it really looks like we could start filming "Fall of Winter" soon. Pumped!!! yeah, i don't know about levi. I think i did something...or maybe he's just a prick. who knows. lol.

So that's life. I really just don't know what to do with it anymore. I walk the stage in 10 days. wow...and by the way, i couldn't get alot of tickets to the ceremonies, so everyone is just going to show up and come in. lol. So you are all welcome. i would love nothing more then for all of you to be there in my final moments of high school. you don't have to, you all have lives, but it would be cool. Except for ryan. Your bitch ass better be there.

It's hard, but it's getting better.

I'm weak, but i'm getting a little stronger.

But fuck it. I'm still breathing. And i still have a lifetime of film with my big brother and my big brother's best budday right there with me. Wish us the best of luck, for our lives will soon be underway.

This concludes our broadcast day.

Procol Harum

Mon, 03 May 2004 08:17:59 GMT

So here i am. Back to my late night posts. I was downstairs working on my colosseum model when it began to just not really work out for me anymore. i ended up punching, breaking, and smashing alot of the materials. Most of which were no longer needed anyhow...but still...i blew up. i think i really hurt my wrist and knuckles, and i managed to acutally break through a piece of wood an inch and an inch thick. it took a couple swings but...yeah. lol. i kinda lost my temper. and the great news is....drumroll please...i get to do it all over again tomorrow. ugh. fuck the world and every dumbfuck in it. those of you who are not dumbfucks...you know who you are...live long...prosper...and boldly go anywhere the fuck you want. just leave while you can. this place is doomed.

good day...better evening...shitty early morning. My hand hurts...i just destroyed a bunch of stuff i will probably need tomorrow....and i ddin't even get to go and see the play with samantha. (which i am again sorry for sam my dear). wow...i need to be out of fucking school.

other than that...life is good good good. i bought a jean jacket today. heh heh. oh damn i look hot. hahaha...not really...but oh well

i wrote a new lyricless song. gawd that's starting to suck. i need lyrics.

I'm writing in my journal...unfourtunatly...about nothing. so i will let you go. adois...i love you all...and may this conclude our broadcast day.

ps...i finally found out how and what the hell FOO FIGHTERS means. YEY! hahaha.

(none)

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 07:47:02 GMT

Oh yeah...it's my birthday

I cried today...

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 07:39:26 GMT

Can any of you remember the last time i cried? i sure as hell don't. Normally...no matter how bad it gets...i can always seem to get by because i know that someone out there has it worse that i have it. Someone out there is dying while i am sitting here bitching about my high school stress. So here i am...the day before my birthday...and i'm lying in a heap on my floor...my guitar beside me...my bedroom light burnt out...my lava lamp not allowed to turn on...and i am crying. Let's start from the beginning...

Life has been draining to say the least. the amount of stress from all around me has almost become insurmountable. Everywhere i turn...it's like someone had a brand new steel toe boot they wanted to test out on my face. Nothing clicked...everything went wrong...but i always managed to get through. until...

well there is some family stuff going on...some of you know i am sure...i know ryan knows...danny probably knows...bree...more than likely...but anyway...dosen't matter. Having to deal with the stress of this situation...grad...prom...school...homework...work...it all was just a burden. a huge...painful burden. Then...game 7.

(danny is happy. Army of Darkness and Bubba Ho-Tep at the capitol theatre westbank...keep ya posted)

canucks losing sucked my right ball. i was so sad the next day...and i had to deal with fucking calgary fans blowing off their fucking mouths...i mean...jesus h motherfucking christ go live in calgary you cock sucking bitch fuckers. woah..sorry..bitter. that was a little out of line...but i was mad. but i found out that i was nominated for valedictorian of my grad class. good news?....sooon to be abolished. On my birthday...today...i have to work. saturday...my birthday dinner...oh yeah...workin...pissed me off. School? oh yeah...told me i'm not walking across the stage. So now i have my parents breathing down my neck to get it fixed. ihave until the end of april to pay my grad fees ($121.00) my prom and ceremony fees ($141.00)and fix capp...and i still have to pay my dry grad fees.($250.) Getting to work insane hours because no one else can pay them. (Priceless) I have two plays i need to make time for. and today...it all added up. crushed me. For the first time today...i said something that horrified my whole being. and the scariest thing...i believed myself.

In true emo fashion...i was trying to sing and play guitar through my crying. I was just singing random lyrics to a song i was writing called...i'm okay. "i'm okay, i'm okay. i'm okay...."Then i would say all the horrible things i was okay with. my pain...the tears on my face...you could see why i was crying. years of pent up emotion...all in one go. "I'm okay with the thought...that i can't be who i really want to be."

I doubted my dream.

I doubted my dream of one day holding an oscar and thanking each and everyone of you.

For the first time ever.

I broke down. I cried. In a crumpled mess on my bedroom floor, with my guitar beside me...my light burnt out...my lava lamp not being able to be on...and i cried.

Muh book

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 19:57:25 GMT

You're Les Miserables!

by Victor Hugo

One of the best known people in your community, you have become
something of a phenomenon. People have sung about you, danced in your honor, created all
manner of art in your name. And yet your story is one of failure and despair, with a few
brief exceptions. A hopeless romantic, you'll never stop hoping that more good will come
from your failings than is ever possible. Beware detectives and prison guards bearing
vendettas.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Well...kinda an ego booster...but you all know how i take compliments. and i'm a little worried bout prison guards...

Howdy

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 23:45:50 GMT

Well...long time no chat on this bad boy. I bet half of yous guys aren't even checking anymore. lol. Ah well...here goes...for shits a giggles.

So! i am in abbotsford right now. i was visiting my papa for a week of my spring break and all in all...it wasn't bad. i met a girl named nicole who was really cool and we hung out at the pool hall in the mission. Went and saw "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" which was, needless to say, AMAZING! the song in the end credits "Everybody's got to learn sometime" by beck is one of my favorites so in the end of the film i was in pure bliss. danny, i can't wait to talk to you abouts it. And dawn of the dead was a fantastic hollywood horror flick. Good times for some popcorn.

I haven't heard much of my progressing in the band culture of kelowna. Cry of the Afflicted members say i should start something with dustin, Stutterfly says i should start something with dustin, BLEEDING ALARM says i should start up with him...who knows mang. I really want to, but the only person i haven't talked to about it yet...IS DUSTIN. well, i'll get my ass in gear then barker and i can get a show together? eh? what do you say ol' chap?

I became really bored trying to scrounge together enought perverbial energy to finish writing a comparitive civilization essay that is due on the monday that i return to school. I'm pretty much drained and i don't know why. I Want to return to work. I acutally miss being there! i haven't filmed ANYTHING in so long, my grandma bought me a beer the other night because she thought that i was 19 instead of 18. (it was one of those big ass 1L coronas too) heh heh. I spent all yesterday morning watching the MXC marathon on Spike T.V. heh heh...wow, what a great use of my time. i think that is why maybe i don't come down here as often as i can. I just really feel useless. I can't even harness creativity. I didn't bring any movies or games along with me this time and i wanted to see if i could make it. I made it for 1 day with watching t.v. i made it 3 days without movies, then i just ditched all my creative stuff and decided to watch MXC marathon. Jeez. And here i am saying life is short. Oh well...this trip was tonnes of fun. I saw an amazing film...i hung out with my estranged sister, Passed out watching a movie with my dad, and i finally got the time to write in my journal. Oh the good times of casual innocence. Alrighty...cue the quote:

...obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken.
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945), Mein Kampf

This concludes our broadcast day.

I need a thought...

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 07:42:38 GMT

http://homepage.mac.com/jbrimm/Cat-With-Hands.mov

Copy and paste this url into your web browser. let the film load...and watch. reply with what your thoughts are. it's a short film...about 3-4 minutes long. it's quite the thing.